Returning the Favor and other Slices of Life

Returning the Favor
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Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Random Statements from rehearsals

After I spent the first few days with my merry band of retards, I decided that we needed to preserve some of the oddities that were uttered during rehearsal for posterity. Eventually, the cries of "Kaddie, write that shit down!" echoed through every rehearsal. Here are a few of the odd things that come out, either intentionally or not, in rehearsal.

"You can vaseline any part of his body."

Directional Note: Feste draws a summer sausage.

"Beaten sausage is funny!"

"I'll wait until I feel something, before I leave the stage."

"Motivate hiding a hard-on."

"You can make me look as gay as you want."

"Find some ways to make Colby's butt percussive!"

"Then, I sit on the top of the tongue."

"If you actually do that with the drum, I may pee!"

"Boys, never leave your trees!"

"Give it a clitoral feel."

"Somebody get my a donkey!"

"Nothing's better than a chick with rug burns."

"All I see, is tight pussy."

"We're gonna need a lot of beefsticks for this show."

"3 times and you're gay. You've got one left!"

"Just start humping her!"

"That has a lot of screaming vag., and I did a lot of it."

"Can you reach out and grab her tits?"

"I didn't stick THIS end in your eye. I stuck THAT end in your eye."

"That's alright, I'll be your sweat towel."

"Let's not test his legs in that manner."

"I think we have enough gay moments for you."

"What the FUCK just happened?"

"I can work with you on the spit take."

"You put it in crooked the first time. Now, it'll only go in crooked!"

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"You bring veal cutlet to an 8 o'clock show, I'm puttin' MY face in your boobies!"

"I don't know if you want to eat beaten meat."

"We're definitely gonna need a fresh, stiff sausage for opening night."

"Don't let it go limp! It's gotta stay hard!"

"This needs to be tighter, so the sausage stays straight."

"Don't worry, there will not be one drop of this anywhere but my mouth."

"My balls are cold."

"The Notorious T-A-D"

and the most frequent piece of direction in the show -

"3-2-1-GAY!"

1 comment:

The Wife said...

You know, at work, we keep logs of stupid things we say that, out of context, provide some hilarious moments.

The last team I worked on, we decided to try an experiment in using yoga balls as more ergonomic seating options. You can imagine the comments that come from that . . . I think the first time someone said "Can I sit on your ball for a while?" we knew it was all over.

Made me laugh for the day.