Returning the Favor and other Slices of Life

Returning the Favor
Returning the Favor
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Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Vagina thoughts

Yeah really. Like most straight guys I think a lot about 'em. Especially since I'm directing The Vagina Monologues as a fundraiser for my theatre group tonight. So as a way to make more gravy, I'm thinking of having T-shirts printed for the run of the show in Asheville. What makes a better T-shirt?

The Vagina Monologues - title only, but the word VAGINA in big pink letters across the tits.

I (heart) Vaginas

Pussies Unite!

looking for other suggestions, too. Email me.



Monday, May 16, 2005

Frickin' FINALLY!

So for six months or so I've been playing this theatre folks monthly tourney - good group of folks, $20 buy-in, house takes no juice, lots of good times and a T100 penalty for theatre talk at the table, which makes us all remember to be human for a while, which after a hard tech week we all need. My running joke is that I should just show up, play for 3 hours, never buy in, and get up when it's down to 4 people, cause I've made the following finishes at this tournament since I started coming -

4th - got my money back
3rd - made $20 profit
Sucked - busted early but made $10 profit on the night in side games
4th - got my money back
4th - got my money back

So I've had kind of a streak going, if you see my drift. Well, last night was looking like no different. Early on. I won a few, lost a few. Made some good coin early with the Hilton sisters against jacks on the board, and again with A6 spades made trip 6s. Came to the final table out of 19 about middle of the road, but with a serious scare on for the chicky two seats to my left - the fabulous Donna, who between her and her husband Wes had probably 40% of the tourney's chips. That left 60% split among the other 7 of us, so we were all sucking hind teat, as my daddy would say. Well, Donna quickly busts out about 3 poor victims, and before I know it there are 6 of us left. The six are:

Donna - as deadly as she is lovely - with a lethal chip stack and the most expressive eyebrows since Nimoy you only wanna get in a pot with her if you've got two things - the nuts, and the balls.

Chuck - nice guy, computer software guy, I haven't seen him at the final table before but he's pretty solid. He's short-stacked so he's gonna have to move soon.

Jim E. - Super-Aggressive. If I get knocked out, it's usually because me & Jim locked horns one time too many.

Chip - and a chair. TD and scenic designer, and all-around good poker player. Last Month's winner

Wes - The husband. The other massive chip stack. good thing he's sitting across from Donna so the table doesn't crack under all the weight on one side.

Me - our hero - 4th in chips, first in our hearts. I figure once we get to 6 that I can put a couple aggressive moves on Chuck and hang on to outlast Chip and once again claim my $20 back.

I don't remember what Chuck and Chip went out on, I was so busy digging furrows into the felt hanging on by my fingernails. But now we're all in the money, I've got a slightly bigger stack than Jim, but Wes has me outchipped about 3-1, and Donna probably has double what he's got.

I've been cold-carded for the last 4 hours, and I'm feeling pretty good, cause I'm still around. By cold cards I mean COLD. I got the Hiltons once, AK twice, and no other pocket pair bigger than 8s until we were down to 4. But if you gotta pick a time to catch cards, that would be the time.

I'm on the button with blinds at 1000-2000 when I look down to see my buddy Slick. AK Suited hearts in my hand. I raise 3xBB, Donna folds, Jim folds, Wes in BB calls. Flop comes some BSwith a couple of diamonds. I bet, Wes calls. Turn comes a heart, I bet, Wes Calls. River comes another diamonds. Wes checks, I say "All in." We count it out, he calls me, he flips up KJ, calls "flush" and I count the diamonds. And I count again. And Wes has misread the board thinking there are 4 diamonds out there to go with his Kd. I feel terrible for winning it that way, but I'll take it. So I've double through on Wes. Now I'm the 2nd chip stack, because he had fewer chips than I thought. The blinds are going up & up, so it's time to move a little.

I'm SB with 9 10 o/s and I complete the blind. Flop comes 2 10 10. I check, hoping somebody has overcards, pocket pair, anything BUT a 10 with a better kicker. Donna checks, Wes bets out 4000. I know Wes is pretty tilty right now after the lousy misread a few hands ago, so I figure I can take him down. I raise him all in, about another 21,000, and he calls with A 2, giving him two pair, top kicker. No ducks come to help, so Wes goes to the rail. Now I'm solidly in 2nd, and Jim E. is very short. AND the blinds pop up to 2000-4000, putting him in a bad spot with only about 15,000 left.

So Jim goes all-in with AQ, I double him up with K 10 and a pile of rags on the board, so I've given Jim ammo, which is never good. It doesn't last. I don't remember what he went out on, but I think he had 66 against my A 10 or something like that.

Before I get Jim out of the way, I have one key hand with Donna where I know we're both packing unpaired overcards into a ragged board (I've got KQ o/s, no idea what she had). I'm the SB and I raise 2xBB. She Calls. Flop comes crap and I bet out 12,000 (we're at 3-6000 blinds by now, so the min is 6,000). She calls me, but won't call the 26,000 I bet on the turn. This swings the chip lead in my direction and once I get Jim out of the way I never looked back. It also helped that I caught pocket pair, AK and AQ in our first 3 hands heads-up.

So 5 hours later, I'm $220 better off than I was when I walked in, my confidence in myself as a poker player is restored, and I have cash for a Pepsi on the way home. This is way sweeter than winning the online tourney, cause these are people I know & respect in my professional life, so it felt good to take the tourney after months of futility.

A few surprises out of this month's game -

Uncle Phil's early exit. Phil is becoming a dangerous cash game player, but the tourney thing isn't paying off for him.

Better play than normal out of Brett G. Totally the funniest guy at the table, his stream of constant imaginative vulgarities would embarass Blackbeard's parrot. He also played really solid poker this month.

Austin's aggression catching up with him. Young, smart, arrogant. Too much like me not to be annoying, it was especially sweet to win this one when he was the first one sitting in the Loser's Lounge.

The early exit of the Lee. Lee's usually good for 3-7th place, but this time nowhere in evidence at the final table. Oh well, we all have off nights.



Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Steal this content!

There's a lotta crap going around about folks stealing content off poker blogs,
and that just isn't right. If you're going to steal - ASK! Most folks will give it up
for free faster that your college roommate's ugly cousin that you went to her
senior prom with because he promised you a copy of the Music Appreciation exam
if you did him this one little favor - little did you realize that you'd wake up the next
with your teeth firmly planted in your own upper arm hoping against hope that you
DON'T wake up the gila monster laying on your elbow!

Anyway - now that I've puked up that trip down memory lane - please remember,
it's not cool to steal content, and Otis's c**k is THIS big! Go here to find out what the
hell I'm babbling about.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

long week

So I learned something this weekend. A few things actually.

1) Hydrocodone-based cough syrup is every bit as good as they say.

2) It's even better with Corona.

3) The weekend players at Pokerstars at the limits I can afford ($5 & $10 SnGs) are suckout machines!

4) I'm not good enough for a $20 SnG yet.

5) I can kick a lot of arse at the multi-table $5 SnGs on weeknights.

Those are the things I think I think, to rip off Peter King. In other news - the planning for the Stoneleaf Theatre Festival continues apace. I'm heading up to Asheville Saturday to audition The Vagina Monologues - looking for two local actresses, to go along with Christy & Suzy for the run. And we're having a fundraiser at The Evening Muse, the coolest place for live music in Charlotte on Tuesday, May 17th to raise some $$$ for the trip. Glenn has a cast for Torch Song Trilogy, now just need to find a Stage Mangler.

Next Theatre All-stars tourney is this Sunday - I'll let you know how it goes. I still say I should just show up, play for free for 3 hrs, and quit in 4th without bothering to pay the entry fee or get it refunded, which is the 4th-place prize. Hey - this could be my week. Maybe I'll rent that Phil Hellmuth video before the tournament. NOT!

BTW - rent the Lemony Snicket movie - Frickin' Hilarious!